Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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