I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
