"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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