I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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