absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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