Farmville is her only friend.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
