I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
