i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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