when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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