Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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