He disabled his match.com account in front of me
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
