Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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