Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
