I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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