He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
