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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
