i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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