There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Boobs speak an international language.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
