sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
