Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
