someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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