I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
