Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
