I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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