She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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