hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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