In the future we'll all be gay
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
