He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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