his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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