do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
