I forgot how hot balto sounded
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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