For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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