my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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