I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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