It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
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When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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