I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
