im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
