Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
