I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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