check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
