I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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