Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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