matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize