dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
