So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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