Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
