I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize
