By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
