i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
