Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
