Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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