conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I don't want my vagina anymore.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
