Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
