so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
