i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
