Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
