So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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