He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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