So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
