Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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