You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
