Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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